Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Undelivered

Joel: You promised me boobs right away.

Ben: And..?

Joel: You did not deliver.

Friday, December 5, 2008

The Dance Floor

Zack: I wonder what she's doing now.

Ben: Probably being hot somewhere.

Joel: Yeah, probably fucking some dude...on the dance floor.

Friday, November 21, 2008

The Loss

Joel: It's nothing to cry home about.

A Game of Scrabble

(Zack places the word "ROC" on the board)

Joel: What's a roc?

Zack: It's a mythical bird.

Joel: Is that like if I put the word "flamingo"?

Zack: Yes, but mythical.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Sell-Off

Joel: We need to have a coordinated sell-off of the things in our apartment we don't need.

Danny: Like what?

Joel: (no response)

Danny: Name one.

Joel: Your chair in the loft.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The Lack of Disease

Joel: Guess what?

Zack: What?

Joel: I'm disease-free.

Zack: Congratulations, who told you?

Joel: The doctor. Now I can screw anything that walks or moves.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

On the Making of a Palin Mii

Joel: I'd like to exercise the cheekbone option.

Zack: Ok...

Joel: ...and entertain the eye adjustment.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

The Balls

Joel: I called you and you called me back and I never called you back.

Zack: Oh yeah, why'd you call?

Joel: I just wanted your balls. Tennis balls.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Shirt

Ben: What's wrong with his shirt?

Joel: It's indiscriminate.

Ben: What's indiscriminate about it?

Joel: My decisions to say things about his shirt, I don't care what they are.

The Caesar

Joel: Come to your Caesar.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The Debriefing

Danny: So how was Burning Man?

Joel: I'm going to give you a debriefing in the morning at a time to be determined.

The Hours

Joel: I haven't slept in f...f...eighteen hours.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

The Proceedings

Mike: Tell us how the proceedings go.

Joel: Oh, you'll find out...intimately.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Fence Post

Danny: What are you doing with that fence post?

Joel: I'm going to hammer it into the ground.